gouge away, pt. 2

today, i woke up when connor came into the living room to pretend he camped out with me and matthew. i wasn't mad, though, i just smiled and went back to sleep. i had a good dream, but in true good-dream fashion, i can't remember it.

matthew had cereal for breakfast. we saved the last bowl of his favorite kind, because we knew he would be at our house. i didn't eat anything, i don't think. i had a burrito a couple hours later, though.

my parents and connor left for a while, so matthew and i decided to get naked and listen to the dull drums. we jumped on the couch and did all the things kids aren't supposed to do when your parents leave you alone for an hour. we said bad words, we peed without lifting the seat, and then we DIDN'T EVEN FLUSH. don't get me started about washing our hands.

after a while, we tired of being bad and decided to put some clothes on. my mom came home with connor, he had gotten a new video game. matthew and i were tired from playing music in the garage, so we played mario kart wii with connor for a while.

before we knew it, it was time for matthew's big brother to come get him and take him back to tulsa. his girlfriend's real, by the way. really ASIAN.

after that, i had some popcorn and watched harold and kumar. i talked to ed on the phone for about an hour before that, so all in all i probably used up about three hours of the day. we were going to visit little grandpa later, so i had to bathe.

for the first time in a long time, i took a bath in the little bathtub in the little bathroom connected to my bedroom. it felt awesome. it was really hot. so hot, i could almost hear a thousand tiny screams as my sperm count dropped. i probably should have said a prayer for the little guys. maybe i will right now.

-0-0-0-

amen.

seeing little grandpa was pretty emotional today, at least at first. he's gonna be gone a lot longer than we thought. i hope he'll come out of this okay. we were alone in the room for the first half, so we spent a few minutes kind of hugging in silence and stuff. after that, we slowly started talking about normal things like music and friends. we talked about baby cakes and the whitest kids u know. i know he's gonna make it alright. he wouldn't let himself never enjoy those things again.

i'm buying him the new crystal castles cd when it/he comes out.

i'm starting to feel like my family is a lot bigger than it once was. all of my friends and cousins, and ed and mandy, and everyone at school. it all gives me a reason to stay. even if i'm not staying for them, maybe they're staying for me.